


Voices

by Pepitabread



Category: Ylvis
Genre: M/M, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-04
Updated: 2014-12-12
Packaged: 2018-02-11 16:27:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2075010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pepitabread/pseuds/Pepitabread
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bård is fighting an internal battle. Will he win or lose?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Why

_Just look at him and tell me he doesn't want it? Shaking his ass in the air for you_

"He's not shaking it for me you idiot, he's doing it for the audience" Bård whispered through gritted teeth, hoping the microphone wouldn't pick up the sound.

\----

Bård had heard voices in his head his entire life. When he was younger the voices were friendly, telling him little jokes and helping him with his homework. He simply thought they were his _thoughts_. He lived with that belief up until sometime in his early teens when the voices slowly started working against his better judgement. They'd tell him to break plates, steal music magazines from the store and hide his parent's car keys so they'd be late for work.

Everytime he got caught he would say he didn't know why he did it, and to a certain extent it was true. He was so used to following the voices he didn't question the morality of his actions, or the consequences of doing them.

That is, until the day he found himself outside Vegard's room. He knew he wasn't allowed in there when his brother wasn't home, but still he reached for the door knob, turned it around and went in.

Vegard's pride and joy in life was his model plane collection. Every birthday and christmas since he was 10 he had used the money he got to buy new ones, and by now his collection counted fourteen, all displayed on a shelf in his room, sorted by size and manufacturer.

_Break them_

'I don't want to. Vegard loves them'

_Break them. He deserves it. He told on you yesterday remember? When you poured paint in dad's car, he was the one who got you in trouble_

'That was you, not me. You told me to do it'

_Well it was your hands that did the job.., and Vegard told dad you did it_

He took a step closer to the shelf and studied the planes. They were all perfect miniatures of the real thing, and Vegard had spent many hours assembling each and every one.

_Start with the one on the left. That's his favourite_

Without really noticing it, he suddenly had the plane in his hands. He held it up as far as he could stretch his arm, and with brute force he slammed it to the ground. It broke into a million pieces, at least in Bård's eyes, and he continued, one by one.

Fourteen planes lay scattered around his feet when the voices finally shut up. But the silence was soon replaced by another sound, a sound more terrifying to Bård than any other at that moment.. the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs, Vegard's footsteps.

With nowhere to run, Bård found himself just standing there awaiting his doom. And surely enough he got it, from the initial screaming, through yelling and hitting, until silent tears started pouring from the older one's eyes.

Bård watched as his brother sat on the floor crying, nearly as broken as his beloved planes.

"Why" he finally asked. "Why did you do it?"

Bård looked down at him and slowly opened his mouth. "I don't.." he started.

"Don't tell me you don't know, Bård. Don't fucking tell me you don't know!" He got up from the floor, walked over to Bård and looked him straight in the eye. "Tell me why you did it. Give me a reason, any reason, I don't care. I want to know that there is a reason why all my planes are smashed up."

There was total silence in Bård's head. He almost felt deserted as he looked into his brother's begging eyes, and suddenly it all came pouring out. The voices, the confusion and all the things he'd done. Once he had started he couldn't stop, and he looked at Vegard, searching his face for disbelief and anger, but instead he found himself wrapped up in a warm comforting hug.

They sat and talked for hours that night, and ever since then Vegard had helped him deal with the voices. If it happened when they were together, Bård would immediately tell him, and when they weren't, he would call. They made a system out of the times it happened when they were in public or in a room with other people, Bård would tilt his head and blink with both eyes, and Vegard would find a way to excuse them and go somewhere private.

In a weird way it tied them together. They would never stray far from eachother or leave eachothers sight for too long. It was a system that worked for many years, and Vegard was under the impression that Bård was gradually improving. However he couldn't be further from the truth. There was one voice Bård had kept hidden from his brother for many years, and that voice grew stronger and stronger the more he tried to ignore it. 

It had started innocently, _Vegard is beautiful,_  it had said, _look at him, look how his eyes light up when he smiles._  

At first he mistook this particular voice for genuine gratitude and love towards his brother and best friend, and for that reason he didn't tell Vegard about it. But the voice persisted on it's course in marvelling over Vegard's beauty, and Bård kept looking. Every day, every time it told him to, he would look, and he would agree, and he never told his brother. But now, years later, the voice had taken a different turn. The voice was dark and powerful, overshadowing all other thoughts, and making it impossible to ever tell him.

\----

_You should kiss him, look at those lips, I know you like them_

'Shut up!'

 _Make_ him _shut up, with your mouth_

Bård slammed his water bottle down on the table with such a force it nearly broke. Everyone in the backstage area turned their heads, and Vegard looked startled at him. "Is it.. a voice again?" he mouthed.

Bård closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm fine... come on, we've got a show to do"


	2. Don't

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This second half got longer than I intended, so it's now a three parter instead of a two parter. Also I'm sorry about the wait! I'm nearly done with the third chapter so I'll post the rest within the week (hopefully)

The roars from the crowd were loud and Bård welcomed the change of sound. The outside sounds momentarily drowned out what was happening on the inside, and for a second he thought maybe the night would be fine. But deep down he knew better, he knew what was coming.  
Whenever he got in physical contact with Vegard, the voice would get louder and louder, to the point where ignoring it was almost impossible. For this reason he tried to keep a distance between himself and his brother on the stage, but there was one act that demanded contact, an act they had performed many times in the past. For Vegard the whole thing was a walk in the park. For Bård it had become the definition of hell.

The low sound of the church organ started playing, the prop knife and chainsaw had been carried out from backstage, and the brothers stepped up to their microphones.  
Bård looked out into the audience. Everyone in the front row had their camera phones raised high in the air, ready to capture any and all kind of contact between the two, and he could feel his heart speeding up. He knew he was up for a fight, in more ways than one.

\----

Thud! Vegard was on the floor with Bård on top of him. He was sat with one leg on either side of his brother, one arm on Vegard's shoulder and the other held up in a mock threatening position. So far everything was going according to plan. "I can do this", he chanted to himself, "I can get through this." But then, as Vegard squirmed underneath him trying to get free, it all fell apart. Vegard had always had a bit of an unfortunate bodily reaction to performing in front of large crowds. While Bård's blood usually rushed to his head when on stage, Vegard's blood flowed to other places. Bård could feel his head starting to spin. 

_You are so close. Rub yourself against him_

Bård pushed his lower body forward. His crotch rolled slowly over his brother's bump. Before Vegard got a chance to react, Bård repeated the move and arched his back to let out a deep guttural howl. The crowd went crazy, and he snapped back into reality, finishing the rest of the set as planned.

\-----

"What the hell was that?" Vegard raised one eyebrow and giggled as they walked off stage after the final notes of The Fox had died out.

"What the hell was _what_?" Bård tried his best innocent face, but he knew full well what his big brother meant.

"In Pie Jesu. You normally stay at arms length from me, but tonight you practically gave the audience porn" Vegard chuckled. "Can't wait to gif this" he said, flailing his arms about, mimicking the girls in the front row.

Bård didn't reply. He made his way into the back stage area, grabbed a beer and sat down on the sofa. He closed his eyes and tried to think of nothing, but the void was soon filled by the same cluster of thoughts that had haunted him for the past year. What he would give to have a few moments of peace in his head. Everything was confusing. He used to be able to deal with the voices so well, back when he had his brother to help him. But he couldn't ask for help this time. It had gone too far. Some days he could barely distinguish the difference between the voice and his own thoughts, and it scared him beyond belief. Vegard, my sweet helpful Vegard. My brother, the one who was always there for me when I needed him. Will he run away if I tell him how much I still need him? Will he leave me forever if I tell him my darkest thoughts?

Vegard closed the refrigerator door with a slam, making himself jump from the sound. "Sorry" he called out towards Bård, who opened one eye to look at him as he made his way over to where his little brother was sitting.   
Bård watched in silence as his foot quickly stretched itself out, right at the second Vegard walked past him. The older one, beer bottle in hand, fell face first to the floor, pieces of glass and beer flying everywhere. A low rumble of laughter pushed its way up from his belly, but came to a halt as Vegard sat up, his deep brown eyes looking directly at him.

"Did you do that on purpose?" he asked, squinting his eyes.

Bård looked to the floor.

Vegard leaned in closer. He took Bård's face in his hands and turned to face him, "look at me while I'm talking to you! Was that you, or.. 'not you'?"

"It was me…" Bård tried to force a fake apologetic smile, but he couldn't focus.

_He's touching your face! Kiss him!_

Bård squirmed out of Vegard's grip and jumped out of the sofa, but Vegard grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

_Ooh he likes it rough!_

"What's going on, Bård?" Vegard looked intently at his little brother. "We used to share everything. You don't talk to me like you used to.." he said calmly, almost whispering. "If there really are no voices anymore I'm really happy, but.. you don't seem like yourself lately." 

Bård tried to look at anything but his brothers face, his eyes flickered up at the ceiling, then over to the tiny window on the other side of the room. The light from a street lamp outside hit him right in the eye as Vegard's grip on his arm tightened, and his focus was pulled back. "Please Bård, you know I just want to help you" 

"It's nothing.. nothing's going on" Bård stared at the part of his arm where Vegard's hand was touching it, and he clenched his fist slowly, "just.. leave me alone, Vegard"

Feeling torn between screaming at his brother to snap out of it and wrapping his arms around him telling him it will be alright, Vegard opted for the third option, the easiest one perhaps, or simply the most cowardly; he did what he was told. He got up and left.  
There was a narrow hallway leading to their dressing room, it had mirrors alongside the walls, but Vegard stared straight ahead. He didn't want to look at himself as he walked, feeling somewhat defeated, by his own little brother, or maybe by himself. He should have said something more, something.. anything. He picked up the pace, eager to get home and just hope tomorrow would see a change in Bård's mood, but as he rounded the corner at the end of the hall, he heard Bård's voice calling out for him. "Vegard wait!"... "Vegard"

"I'm sorry Vegard.. I know I've been behaving like a brat lately and I.. I know you only want to help." He searched around his pants for pockets that didn't exist, and without knowing what to do with his hands, he put the left one up to his mouth and started chewing on his fingernails. "Could you come by my place later? I need to tell you something"

Vegard's face lit up for a brief moment, and the previous angry expression shifted into a hopeful smile. "Sure. I'll be there in an hour? I miss us hanging out together, just us, being brothers, you know? Like we used to. Should I bring some beer?"

Bård continued nervously chewing his nails. "I don't know If that's a good idea. I..., I just want to talk really, without anyone else in ear's reach"  
He looked at Vegard, whose eyebrows came back down from their inquisatory high position and settled back in a slightly furrowed state. "Is that ok?"

"Of course, Bård. I'm just gonna go home and change, and then I'll come over." He tentatively held his arms out for a hug, but the younger one pretended not to notice. He should avoid physical contact at all costs. Especially when _it_ was here, and lately it always was. 

Vegard turned around and left, waving a short see you later.  
Bård stood still and watched him leave, watched how his hair bounced as he walked, and how his nice round butt.. Fuck..

_He loves you! Now lets go home and light candles!_

'Fuck off, we're just going to talk.'

\----

The sink made a creaking sound as Bård leaned his entire weight on it with his arms and stared at himself in the mirror. He looked tired, he stated, so tired. Not necessarily physically, but definitely mentally. His eyes used to be full of life, but fighting the part of him that wanted his brother was exhausting. He could feel himself losing the battle more and more with each passing day, and the worst part; Vegard would never be able to help him, not this time, not with this.  
"Shit, why did I ask him to come over?", he sighed, "being here all alone with him will only make it worse"

_or bring you closer. closer than you've ever dreamed of_

The doorbell rang and Bård almost jumped at the sound.

"Ok. It's ok, I can do this. He might understand" he chanted to himself as he hesitatingly placed his hand on the doorhandle.

"Hey" Vegard gave a half smile and a nod as he walked into Bård's apartment and kicked off his shoes. He had clearly just had a shower as his hair smelled faintly of shampoo. There were no traces of product in it, and the wild curls framed his face perfectly. Bård swallowed hard, the need to reach out and touch him was overpowering all other thoughts.

_loser.. this is all you, I didn't say a thing_

'It's not me. It's not me!! You've taken over, that's what.. When he's near me I can't think, I can't move, I just want him closer, I need him...'

_hahaha_

Vegard removed his coat and sat down on the sofa. "So what did you want to talk about?"  
With no answer from Bård, Vegard looked up at him and their eyes met, "you know you can tell me anything Bård, I'm here for you, always. You know that don't you?" He got up from the sofa and walked over to Bård who had frozen on the spot, still looking directly in to his eyes. 

"Bård?" Vegard reached out his arm and gently touched him on the shoulder. Bård's skin was burning from the touch, and his insides were in uproar. Time seemed to slow down as Vegard closed in on him, Bård's head was spinning, he squeezed his eyes shut as every ounce of him felt a magnetic draw towards the body that got closer and closer by the second.

_bye bye, Bård_


	3. Who

"NO!! DON'T HUG ME!" Bård yelled and jumped back out of Vegard's grasp. 

He ran into the kitchen, nearly hyperventilating, and rummaged through the drawers. He had never gotten any medication for his condition, but he had some sedatives somewhere, for the times he just wanted to shut everything out and just exist, without thinking, without worries. 

He frantically opened and searched through every set of drawers, the contents inside them flying left and right. In the bottom one he finally found the little bottle he was looking for. He took out two pills, even though the inscription clearly stated to consult your doctor before taking more than one at a time. 

Now what to swallow them down with? He looked around and spotted two glasses of wine he had set on the countertop earlier, along with an unlit candle. He rolled his eyes at the sight, remembering how he had hummed "Love is in the air" when he had poured the wine. He shook his head as to try and shake the memory, and got up from the floor just as Vegard entered the kitchen.

"Bård", Vegard's hand was suddenly back on his shoulder. "You're starting to scare me, what's going on?"

"Nothing", he replied, his voice an octave higher than normal, "just.. just getting us some wine!" He threw himself against the countertop and, with his back against his brother, put the pills into one of the glasses.

"I thought you didn't want to drink tonight?"

"I changed my mind..."

His breathing was slowly starting to return to normal as he motioned them back towards the sofa. He took the two glasses in his hands and reached one of them out to Vegard, then quickly pulled it back and offered him the other. His eyes widened in panic when he realised he couldn't remember which glass he'd put the pills in, and his breathing went right back up.

"Bård, you're shaking, here sit down" He took the glasses out of the younger one's hands and placed them on the coffeetable in front of them. "Tell me, please"

"I'll just drink both!" Bård thought, but he had obviously said it out loud,  as Vegard leaned forward, took a glass and downed it in one go. "No you won't, there's no way I'm gonna sit here sober while you spend an eternity drinking up the courage to tell me whatever it is you clearly need to get off your mind"

_Go on tell him! If you're lucky he won't remember it in the morning_

Bård picked up the other glass. He quickly scanned it for any residue of the pills but couldn't see any. They had either dissolved already, or Vegard would soon be on his way to a merry blissfull state. "Shit, shit, shit" was his only thought as he took a sip of the wine, before emptying the glass completely, trying to gather up an idea for what to do next.

"How.. how are you feeling?", he asked, glancing sideways at the dark haired one. Vegard straightened his back and looked at him. 

"I'm fine. Can you stop beating around the bush? Tell me!"

"I can't, Vegard.. I want to, but I can't", he hid his face in his hands.

"Why? What can possibly be so bad that you can't tell me? You've never held anything secret from me in the past!" He paused to remove Bård's left hand from his face, his own hand squeezing gently around his younger brother's as he did so. "Have you?"

Bård closed his eyes at the touch, his head felt heavy, too heavy. "You will leave me..", he whispered. "You will leave me.. and I will be all alone"

_no_

There was a long pause before Vegard answered. 

"Don't be crazy! I'm your brother, I'll always be here. What did you do?"

"It's not something I've done..", he looked down at their still joined hands, and then back up to meet his brother's eyes. They were so kind, so warm, so inviting.. "It's about you", he spluttered out, "it's about you, everything is about you"

Vegard's face turned into a question mark, but he still held the gaze, although his eyes were blinking more than necessary. 

"About me? What is about me?"

"It won't shut up, Vegard! It.. I.. I've started to.. feel..", his rambling was interrupted by Vegard taking a firmer hold of his hand.

"Bård, I.." he yawned, and then he giggled, "I feel weird.. I'm sleepy" He smiled at Bård with slightly glazed eyes, and tried to focus on his face, "but do continue, didn't mean to interrupt you." With a smile still glued to his face, his upper body started slanting to the right, and he ended up leaning against the younger one for support. 

"Hey", he said, voice all slurred, and then he giggled again, "there's two of you."

_Touché..._

Vegard rested his head on Bård's shoulder, "I think something is wrong", he said softly, the words coming out in a jumble. His breath hit Bård's neck like a warm breeze, and the younger one could feel himself slipping again. The weight of his older brother on his side felt like a ton of burning lava, peeling away layer after layer of his sanity. If there was any sanity left to peel away at all.

_it's time..._

"Get up!" Bård's voice rang loud through the apartment, but Vegard didn't move. Bård turned and grabbed a hold of Vegard's hair, "get up, Vegard!" he choked out, his voice breaking. He yanked at the curls with his hand. "Oww", the older one pouted, and slowly opened his eyes, his face mere inches from Bård's. A couple of seconds passed as they sat like that. Seconds, or hours, time stood still to Bård, except for the pounding in his head, and the countdown. The countdown to when everything would change. 

_three_

'I can't do this to him! I'm stronger than you!'

_two_

'I can't.. it's Vegard..'

_one_

'it's Vegard!'

_zero_

He stared at the face in front of him. Vegard's plump bottom lip was trembling slightly, his eyes hazily searching Bård's face for an explanation to why he was being held up by the hair.

"You're beautiful", Bård whispered, "so beautiful!" 

Without hesitation he closed the gap between them and pressed his lips against his brother's. Vegard let out a surprised cry, but it was quickly muffled by Bård's tongue forcing it's way into his mouth. He fell back on the sofa with the younger on top of him, pushing him down. Bård felt like he was on fire. Adrenalin rushed through his veins with a force he'd never felt before. Bård hungrily sucked on Vegard's bottom lip, then let go of it with a loud smack, and lifted his head to look at his brother.   
He was so pretty, so forbidden, so hot. 

"Bård?", Vegard inhaled when his mouth was finally uncovered, "what are you doing?" 

He tried to focus on his little brother's face as he asked, but his vision was so cloudy he could barely see the figure towering over him, let alone understand what was happening. 

"Shhhh Vegard" Bård put a finger against his lips, and bent down and kissed his neck, breathing hot air against his skin, inhaling his scent. "You smell so good", he mewled into Vegard's ear. "Come!", he got up on his feet and pulled on Vegard's sleeve to follow his move. 

"Bård, I don't understand..." Vegard tried to move but his head was too dizzy. "There's no need to understand", Bård yanked on his brother's arm, lifting him up and half carrying, half dragging him through the living room, past the hallway and into the bedroom. He threw him down on the bed, and eyed him up and down before jumping down on top of him.   
With his legs straddling Vegard, he pinned his arms down and pushed himself against him, grinding, rutting, panting. "I need you Vegard, you're all I want. All I've wanted for so long." He was getting hard, so hard, the sight of his brother sprawled out underneath him made him more turned on than he thought it was possible to get. 

"I can't feel my legs" Vegard whimpered, lost in his own little world. Bård didn't care, too caught up in his own need for pleasure. He rid himself of his clothes and gave his aching member a few shallow strokes. A moan escaped his lips and he looked hungrily down at his brother's crotch. 

"Stars" Vegard said, "there are stars and lights in the sky"

"That's the lamp, Vegard"

Bård lifted his brother's sweater up far enough to bury his face in his chesthair, and he darted his tongue out to lick around the left nipple. "Salty" he exclaimed, "you're fucking delicious, Vegard. I want to see all of you!" With determination he pulled at Vegard's pants, and a moment later the rest of the clothes followed the pants to the floor. Bård's mouth was practically frothing at the sight of his brother on his bed, naked, vulnerable, incapable of fighting it, impossible to resist.

Had Vegard still had his eyes open, he would have seen the piercing blue orbs of his brother momentarily turn black as he crawled slowly over him, gasping as his erection made contact with the darker one's limp member. He pushed himself against it, the friction between their bodies making him gasp and yearn for more. "Touch me" he begged, "please", but Vegard was too far gone.

"Vegard.. I need this.. I need you.." Bård's hand roamed his brother's body. Stopping at his face, he cupped his cheeks and kissed him. A lingering soft kiss, not hurried, not forced, but with a vulnerability that almost made him think Vegard was kissing him back. 

With a thumping heart, he smiled and slid downwards in the bed, taking the older one's member in his mouth. He curled his tongue around the soft flesh, sucking at it, savouring the taste, when suddenly it gave a jolt and started growing. Bård's eyes widened. "I did it!", he growled. Looking up, he found the rest of Vegard was still unresponsive. It didn't matter. "I made you hard!" 

A mixture of pride and raw animalistic lust took over Bård's senses, shaking through every cell of his body.  
Without the aid of lube, Bård took Vegard's hand, gargled and spit on it, and guided it down to his own erection, rubbing it gently up and down his shaft until he couldn't take it anymore. It was now or never. And never wasn't an option. 

He slid the tip of his precum covered cock inside his brother. The warmth and the tightness felt exquisite. He pushed in further, deeper, pulling out half an inch before ramming it all the way in. Vegard groaned, but his eyes were still closed. Bård repeated the motion, panting, overcome with a burning desire. 

All sense of gentleness gone, he was fucking his brother with raw force, over and over and over until a blinding light filled his vision. Screaming his brother's name, he pulled out and came, all over Vegard. Panting, he fell down on top of the older one. Milking himself through his orgasm, he bit down on Vegard's shoulder, piercing the skin. Blood trickled down his skin and got mixed in with Bård's sweat and semen, and with that, the last wave of pleasure was over. It was replaced by a sudden gust of cold wind. Reality hit him like a brick wall, crushing every bone.

"Oh my god, what have I done... what have I done??" He ran into the bathroom and came back with a bowl of warm soapy water and a washcloth. With trembling hands he placed the cloth on his brother's forehead, washing his face with hesitant, almost caressing strokes. "I'm sorry, Vegard..", he whispered, tears stinging in his eyes, "I'm so, so sorry". Carefully, he worked the cloth down his brother's body, slowly removing the visible traces of his crime. Once he was all clean, he climbed under the covers with him. Bård couldn't get close enough to his brother's sleeping body. He cradled him, like a baby. Holding on to his big brother for dear life, he lay on his side, his right arm and right leg covering the older one, his face pressed up against Vegard's. He needed to feel him close, needed the bond between them, needed to feel Vegard's warmth one last time. He fumbled around under the covers until his hand found that of his brother, and with intertwined fingers he pressed their joined hands against his chest. 

"Please Vegard, don't leave me...", he cried into the curls, "please..", he repeated on a loop, until darkness came and sleep followed.

\----

The bed creaked as Bård yawned and streched his long body. A ray of sunlight shone in through a crease in the curtains, the path of it crossing over his body and ending on the other side of him. Bård blinked and suddenly remembered, horror and shame filling his mind as he slowly turned to look at the other side of the bed. It was empty. He was gone. Vegard had left him. 

"This is it...", Bård thought, his nostrils flared and lips quivered,  "i'll never see him again". His head was pounding, his breathing was getting ragged and he was sure he was getting a panic attack.

He grabbed the pillow next to him, it still smelled faintly of Vegard. He pressed it close to his body with all his force, and wept. He wanted to scream, but no sound came out. He lay there, hugging the pillow and crying silently, neverending streams of warm salty tears flowing from his eyes. They hit the pillow and there they got cold. Cold and wet and useless. "Just like you..", he said to himself, and then it got quiet. Real quiet. Too quiet. 

"That came from me..", he realized, "not anywhere else.." There was a silence in his head he hadn't experienced in years, if ever. He rolled around and got out of bed. Still nothing. "Well isn't this just _perfect_?!", he huffed a desperate laugh, "you get what you want and then you leave me!". 

He slid down on his knees, and in the process he spotted Vegard's sweater on the floor. "Fucking perfect timing!", he yelled out. Not holding anything back anymore, he grabbed the sweater and threw it against the headboard, it felt childish and lame but oddly satisfying, so he continued with everything he could find. Shoes; headboard. The alarmclock; headboard. The night stand; headboard. A framed picture of him and Vegard at the first show they did together; missed the headboard and hit the wall above it, breaking into pieces...   
Still nothing but silence in his head. "Perfect.." he repeated.., "I've ruined everything. _Everything_! And you're not even here to gloat?!" 

He stormed out of the bedroom, kicking and knocking over everything in sight. Looking up at the ceiling, he inhaled deeply, his voice almost gone. "You get me to do what you've wanted me to do for years, and you don't even have the decency to stick around for the aftermath?? Tell me what to do dammit!!.. tell me what to do…"

Lost and alone for the first time in his life, he suddenly found himself face to face with the little glass bottle of pills. He picked it up and closed his hand around it. His knuckles went white as he lifted his arm. One, two, five, ten, he stopped counting, it didn't matter. Nothing mattered, not anymore. Without Vegard he was nothing...

With a faint trace of a smile on his face, he fell down on his bed and looked out the window. Two boys were playing on a hill in the distance. The blond one was chasing the dark haired of the two, laughing as he caught up to him, before they both ended up in an embrace. Bård blinked, and then the dark haired boy was gone. He blinked again,.. and so was the blonde.

In the quiet apartment, underneath broken glass, a faint beep sounded. Tiny black letters against a lit screen spelled out a message he would never read. 

_"Good morning sleepyhead! You were out cold after one glass of wine yesterday, so I carried you to bed and tucked you in. You were shaking in your sleep, so I stayed with you for a while, but left after you rolled over and bit me! Hope your hangover isn't too bad ;) You never got to tell me that thing, will come by later. V."_


End file.
